i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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