Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
