as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's never too late to be topless.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
