So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
