Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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