Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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