Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We don't watch enough power rangers
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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