Sry I called you an 8
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
