I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Sorry my hands just texted you
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
