By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
