walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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