Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We had to coat check the pizza.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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