I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
