y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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