You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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