if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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