Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
