I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
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I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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