Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.