u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
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Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.