I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?