That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
