pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think i got beer on your cat.
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