What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
