it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
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Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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