You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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