I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
