I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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