I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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