sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
