I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
