I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
