What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
