my mouth tastes like poor choices
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
