I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize