Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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