It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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