I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I looked at my own cervix.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
