Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
