you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
