he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Everything about him screamed your future.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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