it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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