I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
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So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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