carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I got inside last night via doggy door
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
