if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
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So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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