so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
