your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
