I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
