i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize