ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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