what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
