She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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