Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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