my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize