after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
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I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's blow job season.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
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We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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