i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this boner is exhausting
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
