how can u be prego again
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize