sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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